Tripwire Reviews Spider-man: No Way Home

Spidey’s Coming Home

Tripwire’s senior editor Andrew Colman takes a look at Marvel’s winter tentpole movie release Spider-man: No Way Home. Warning: spoilers ahead including the photos…

Director:
Stars: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Benedict Cumberbatch

One cannot fault the Marvel Hype machine for the anticipation regarding this latest Spidey instalment – younger fans knowing just enough about what to expect, such as this project being a live action version of 2018’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, while crusty diehard fans (like myself) recalling the iconic first issue of What If, Marvel’s mid-70s series that focused on alternative realities within the company’s universe. And the timing, just before Christmas, with the dedicated base desperate for a dose of high-tech spandex fun, is perfect. After the grand finale of Avengers: Endgame, this movie will reassert Marvel’s supremacy at the box office.

So the plot is as follows. In the previous episode Spider-Man (Tom Holland) is revealed to be Peter Parker by Mysterio and Jonah Jameson, but he just wants to be a regular kid with his friends and go study at MIT. So in this movie he goes to his chum Dr Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) to wipe out this bit of the continuum but of course it backfires, bringing a couple of alternative Spider-Mans (Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield) from previous movies and dimensions, along with their former foes, including Doctor Octopus (Alfred Molina), Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe), Electro (Jamie Foxx), Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans) and Flint Marko (Thomas Haden-Church). 

That’s pretty much the whole of it – it’s The Three Doctors story arc from Doctor Who with a huge budget, with a few twists and turns to fill out the movie’s length to two and a half hours. A “best of” treasury-sized Marvel Super-Hero Grab Bag (Spider-Man edition) for those who have no idea what any of that means.

But is it any good? There’s been a lot of talk amongst critics emphasising “emotional beats” (whatever that means) regarding this movie, but it’s got its problems, not that anyone reading this will give a bugger. For a start, it’s about 45 minutes too long, with the mid-section dragging as you will it through gritted teeth towards the inevitable Grand Guignol finale. What props it up are the performances from the baddies, played by real actors such as Molina, Dafoe and Foxx. It is quite the surprise to see them all at once, their efforts seamlessly carrying on from their original movies, with Molina being especially good. When the supporting kids (Zendaya, Jacob Batalon) are out of the picture it’s a different movie, the CGI and widescreen destruction pummelling you into submission, while the three actors inhabit their roles so well. Indeed the special effects are dazzling, with one particular sequence (the battle between Spider-Man and Dr Strange) reminiscent of Christopher Nolan’s Inception.

However (and let’s return to that “emotional beats” thing) it’s a movie that may have heart, notably when the three Spider-Mans meet each other, but it lacks intelligence – the script is lazy, if not dire for the most part, especially when the kids are all together, tearfully invoking ad nauseam such profound and heavyweight lines as “expect nothing, that way you’ll never be disappointed”. George Bernard Shaw will be turning in his grave. Indeed, MJ and Ned Leeds seem to have stepped out of an 80s sitcom, while the likeable but wooden Tom Holland still looks 15 (he’s 25). The dialogue recalls little, if nothing whatsoever of the sassy characters from the source material, and I‘ve had enough of Spidey being the junior hero in the MCU, being relentlessly condescended to by Doctor Strange et al. He was never like that in the comics. Do Holland’s hero and his friends have to be such a bunch of adolescent wet farts?? The producers of this movie clearly ignored what the comics’ version of Mary Jane Watson was actually like, while Jonah Jameson, who was a fleshed-out character in the other medium is an annoying caricature here.

Even more so than previously, this Spider-Man movie exists in a vacuum, at times hinting at Godzilla flicks (all the wanton destruction and that Lizard chap) but barely a hint of any walk-on players beyond the listed cast, not to mention collateral damage from all the fight scenes. Not that that’s a criticism, as in that respect it does chime with those classic Lee and Romita yarns. There is fun and amusement here, especially when the three Spider-Mans interact (regardless of the dumbed-down script). Maguire’s wide-eyed space cadet and Garfield’s angsty turn are terrific, but like all the cheesy, earnest guff that has come before, things do get taken too seriously. And in many respects, despite Holland’s iteration involving lots of Iron Man gadgets and the superior CGI, it’s every inch business as usual here (even the title is similar to the two previous films). Unchallenging faux-cinematic hokum providing people with what they want, expertly crafted on the technical front but like a soufflé, there’s nothing much going on beneath. However, judging by all the hollering and whooping in the audience last night when the special guests turned up, it’s the escapism that folks need, and you can’t argue with that.

Enjoyable in parts then, and roll on the next one. Marvel are back on top.

Spider-man: No Way Home is out in UK cinemas now

Here’s the film’s trailer